Wings Reviewed: Felix’s Trashed Wings

Genre: Place That Serves Wings

Overview:Felix’s Pizza Pub is located in the city of St. Louis in a fine neighborhood called Dogtown. Never in my time eating these wings did I actually go into Felix’s or talk to anyone who works there, so I can’t tell you much about the service or the atmosphere of the place.

I ate my wings next door at future St. Louis’ newest brewery, Heavy Riff Brewing. I say “future St. Louis” because while the place is open, they don’t actually have any of their own beer on tap at this point. They do have a fine selection of craft beers from around the country while they wait for their own to get through the regulatory rigamarole.

If you’re at Heavy Riff (they don’t serve food), give Felix’s a call and place your order. I’ve heard if they aren’t busy, they might bring it over to you, but this was not the case on this night. The 1 lb. order of Felix’s Trashed Wings (the only wing or buffalo type option on the menu) cost $7.95.

Felix’s Trashed Wings

BAD • FINE • GOOD • GREAT • BEST

How about an ambiguous description (quote from their website): “(1 lb.) trashed and thrashed with jalapeno ranch”. I’m pretty sure that’s not what it says on the actual menu, but because I’m a bad journalist, I didn’t take a picture of this menu and can’t be bothered to verify this. I think the menu said something like “fried then refried, served with creamy jalapeño sauce.”

Even so, I was left wondering questions like “Will there be sauce?” and “Oh god, they aren’t going to put something called creamy jalapeño sauce ON MY WINGS are they?” For those new to the wing review, ranch & blue cheese are not condiments that I usually acknowledge on a plate, and if it has “creamy” in title, ranch is the usual suspect.

Well, let me answer these questions for you: The wings didn’t seem to have any sauce, or at least if there was sauce, it was applied lightly before the second frying. The creamy jalapeño sauce, which I thought might have been ranch, could have actually been sour cream based. I can’t be sure on this, but that was the consensus of the table.

So, all ambiguity aside, what kept these wings from being any better than fine? They were dry. If you’re going to fry something twice, it should be done a) very carefully or b) with lots of sauce involved. I’d prefer both, and these had neither. There was some spice somewhere involved with the wings, but it wasn’t particularly exciting. The Parmesan didn’t add much to the equation either.

Maybe the jalapeño (could it be ranch) sauce elevates this dish, but if I think it might be ranch, I’m not putting it on my wings. The pizza at Felix’s is great though. I’ll be sticking with that on my next order at Heavy Riff.

Visited at 7pm, 10/09/2013, 6335 Clayton Ave, 63139